10 Ways to Put Some Fun & Joy into Feeding Your Picky Kid

If you have a picky eater in your house, mealtimes can end up being a trial instead of a pleasant family time together.

The stress around feeding fussy or picky eaters can suck all pleasure out of family meals.

Seeing how you eat, and how you approach mealtimes will impact your child’s ongoing relationship with food and eating.

The more relaxed and more enjoyment your child feels around food, the more likely they are to eat more happily and healthily.

There are lots of things you can try so let’s have a look at a few of my favourite ways to make mealtimes more fun and less of a battleground. Not all these may suit your child’s age, stage or your time restraints; however, these are a good starting point.

Remember, the focus here should be on the FUN, developing some positive experiences around food and the interaction. NOT on the eating.

Why might creating some fun around food work for a picky eater?

  • Creative presentation can make food more appealing.
  • Playful presentation can make mealtimes more relaxed and enjoyable for everyone.
  • Helps a picky eater interact with food in a more relaxed way and without pressure to eat.

Ways to do this?

  1. Shape and Colour – Presentation is Key.

For a lot of kids, the way a meal is presented can make all the difference in helping them eat more nourishing food. Present their food in a fun way (at least some of the time 😊) It doesn’t have to be a work of art. Use cookie cutters or a knife to make fun shapes out of sandwiches, pancakes, cheese, fruits, and veggies.  Choose different colored and textured foods and arrange them in an attractive pattern.  See how much more appealing pieces of fruit can be when arranged for fun. At first, merely fruit on a plate. And then butterflies!  Or thread fruit or cubes of cheese and baby tomatoes onto paddle pop sticks.

 

 

  1. Provide a new utensil or fun plate  Kids love to learn to use new utensils. They will even interact with new foods, just to try to learn how their utensil works.  Try food picks, constructive eating utensils, and trainer chopsticks.
  1. Have a Food Play Strategy    Food Play is one of the most powerful things that you can do with your kids.  Allowing kids to touch food with their hands and play with it during meals (as long as it isn’t very disruptive) can help them start eating more foods. Suggest they rearrange what is on their plate to look like a happy face, a horse, a dog, a dinosaur or whatever there is their current interest.
  1. Plate the food differently – use anything other than the usual dinner plate.
  • Try a bowl instead of a plate.
  • Serve the meal in Chinese take-away containers to be eaten with chopsticks or tiny tongs.
  • Serve finger foods on a paper napkin in a small box.
  • Place a selection of finger foods in sections of an ice cube tray, muffin tins or in plates with separate sections. This appeals especially to younger kids and those who dislike their food touching.
  • Thread pieces on a skewer like a kebab.
  1. Let them dip it

Most kids love dips and sauces and are happy to pick up food and dip it.  Provide a variety of healthy dips in bowls on the side.  Try some hummus, guacamole, veggie laden tomato sauce or ketchup, pureed fruit, or fruit mashed in yoghurt.

Having your child dip vegetables, fruits, or new foods into their favorite sauce, the familiar taste of the dip can help ease the introduction of new foods or dealing with less accepted foods.

For a fun activity, have one food served with a side of three different dips.  Everyone can take turns trying the food with the dips and casting their vote for which flavor they think is the best combination.

 

  1. Change the Venue

A change of environment can reset expectations.  Try a meal (e.g. dinner where there has been tension around food) somewhere different.  A picnic in the backyard, on the patio, in the park, or by the beach can be fun in warm weather.  Being out in the fresh air, seeing others around or just different surroundings can give you new things to talk about and take the focus off the food. Even just setting up a picnic area on the floor in the lounge room can be enough to change the meal dynamics.

  1. Swap meals around

Try swapping a ‘breakfast’ for ‘dinner’ or vice versa.  Young children don’t necessarily see the difference between breakfast, lunch or dinner.  If they occasionally want to eat fruit and cereal in the evening and meat and veggies in the morning, so be it.

Changing the names of meals might also help.  Calling the evening meal a “nighttime snack”, or “last big snack” instead of “dinner” may make a difference.

  1. Deconstruct Meals

Also known as ‘interactive meals’, ‘serve yourself’ or ‘family style serving’ where elements of the meal are on the table for each person to choose which particular elements, and how much of each to put on their plate.  This works well for any type of meal although can also be the focus of particular types of meals such as pasta dishes, choosing their own toppings for pizza, what goes into their Buddha bowl or salad bowl.

This strategy aligns well with Satters Division of Responsibility in Feeding where the parent determines what, when and where of feeding and the child is let to determine how much and whether to eat what has been provided.

  1. Interact away from the table

Look for opportunities away from mealtimes to give your child an opportunity to engage with food.

  • Shopping at fruit and veg store, setting up their food garden from seeds or seedlings, preparing snacks and helping prepare meals.
  • Playing with food. Experiencing and interacting with the food in a pressure-free and positive way allows kids to engage without the fear that they’ll be forced to eat the food.
  • Create art using foods as stamps cut into shapes with a cookie cutter.
  • Making shapes and pictures with cooked spaghetti.
  • Play ‘knock-em-down’ with broccoli trees
  • Fun story books about food characters, growing and cooking food or eating and sharing meals can be a way to talk about food and variety without the pressure to try or eat. See the Resources section for some of our favorite books.

 

  1. Help them prepare

Have a pre-meal routine where you first give them some notice.  For example, “dinner will be ready in 10 minutes, time to finish what you are doing and get ready to come to the table”.  The routine can then involve washing hands, helping set the table or carrying food to the table, saying grace or singing a special song etc. This creates a ‘wind down time’ for busy kids so they are less distracted and more ready for family time.

Using a few of these ideas should support your picky kid build a new level of enjoyment around food and put some of the joy and fun back into family mealtimes.

What has worked for you to make mealtimes happier with a picky eater?  Please share them with us.

MAKE EATING FUN!

kids-eating-together

Try A Little “Peer Pressure”

Using a little positive peer pressure would have to be one of the best ways to get your picky kid to try some new foods or even just to eat more of what they like!

Invite other children of a similar age or just slightly older (especially if they are good eaters!) around for a meal. Children have a strong desire to fit in so are more likely to try to copy their peers.

Studies show that children often copy their peers at mealtime, so if they see their friends eating something different or eating a full plate of food, they are more likely want to join in and try those foods themselves.

While it’s great for your kids to see you eating fruits and vegetables, the impact of their peers doing so is even more powerful.Peer Pressure

Parents often tell me that their little fusspot is apparently not nearly so fussy at child care or kindy when eating in the company of other children.

Try it! Let the others set the example.

And praise them for what they attempt!

timing-routine-small-tummies

Timing, Routine and Small Tummies

Timing

How are you going with feeding your picky and fussy kids? Still stressed? Here are a few more tips for coping with young picky eaters.

Routine:

Children thrive on routine. Try keeping main meals and snack times at roughly the same time each day. Children have a strong need for rituals and for what feels familiar whether it is a bedtime routine, meal time routine or using a favourite plate. Some form of daily routine may provide a picky, fussy eater with predictability and security.

Your busy toddler may need some “quiet time” before meals. This will help them calm down a little and have time to divert their attention from play time to eating time. A table setting and hand washing routine may help with this.

Timing:

Children need to eat frequently to sustain their high energy levels and rapid growth so small but frequent nutrient dense “mini meals” may be best for picky, fussy kids. This approach will maintain optimum blood sugar levels and keep the grumpiness, pickiness and tantrums at bay. Every parent knows that a hungry child is generally not a happy or co-operative child.

Try offering their main evening meal at a realistic time. Children are usually hungry around 4.30 or 5pm. Offer the main evening meal then. It is more likely to be eaten. A healthy snack or a small snack portion of the adult meal can be offered when the whole family sits down to dinner later.

I found this early evening meal strategy really helpful with my three when they were little. They were always hungriest in the afternoon after school or kindergarten so I offered a fairly substantial nutrient dense, protein and vegetable meal or “snack” at that time rather than have them fill up on other snack food. They still took part in the family evening meal but had slightly smaller helpings. For us, this resulted in much less discussions and arguments around food.

Respect Tiny Tummies:

Children’s small bodies have small tummies and fast metabolisms. A young child’s stomach is roughly just the size of their fist so serve small portions initially. They don’t need much to get full so may only want small amounts at a time but get hungry again quickly. Top up their plate with more later if they want more. Finger foods are also popular and will allow a toddler some of their desired independence.

Just a small amount of food on the plate at a time will be far less intimidating and more likely to be eaten, especially if it is a new food.

If your little one is struggling to eat what you have served on their plate, separate out a small portion for them to eat. For example, two bite sized pieces of meat, one bean and two carrot circles.

What have you found to work for you? Email me if you have found great strategies that have worked for you.

Role-model

Are you a Good Role Model?

Children are very keen observers of what significant adults in their lives are doing. As well as parents, this will include grandparents, extended family members, family friends and even older brothers and sisters.

Here are some key questions to ask yourself

  • Do I eat regular meals – breakfast, lunch and dinner? If not, how can I expect my child to do so?
  • Do I always eat healthy nutrient dense fresh foods? If not, how can I expect my child to?
  • Do I pick at food and not eat particular vegetables? Your child will mimic this. If mum or dad is a picky eater and isn’t willing to eat the new foods, neither will the child.
  • Where do I eat meals? In front of the TV? At the kitchen bench? On the run driving to work?
  • Does my family sit together and enjoy the majority of breakfasts and evening meals together?
  • Do I share the same meal as my child or do I expect them to eat something different?

Family MealWhen it comes to healthy eating, the best thing you can do as a parent is to be a good role model. Don’t expect your child to eat foods that you won’t.

What your child learns about food begins with you. You may not realise it but you are continually educating your child about food on a daily basis, especially during the first 10 years or so of their life.

Research shows that most picky eaters grow out of this stage when they are ready and particularly where the closest role models (parents) have healthy eating habits for them to emulate.

Children want to be “mini you”, be just like mum and dad. Most parents notice, comment on and smile at imitative behaviors such as talking on a pretend mobile phone like mum or dad BUT have you made the connection between imitation of your own eating habits and your child’s eating habits?